Follow-up to 'Doc Ock'

 For your reading pleasure, here is the awesome follow-up to my friend Melissa's article on being friends with Doc Ock.  Read on for the answers to many of the issues introduced in the first one.  Enjoy!

Okay, so, 'Doc Ock'... not so cool. Getting over the fact that he could potentially smack me around like never before, I was actually quite amped for our hangout. Let me tell you, my friend(s?), he is so boring! Not only was he unwilling to do anything remotely cool with his [six] arms (like get me my damn ingredients for baking cookies - he doesn't even like cookies!), but, he also just whined about how he wasn't as cool as Alfred Molina (Who portrayed him in the second installment of the most recent Spider-Man series). Come on! That guy didn't really have six arms! That guy was just green screen cool (though, his name is Alfred).

'Doc Ock' then went on about how being a doctor was "Mad boring" and that he truly wanted to "Be a magician!" Um, yes please! A magician with six arms sounds totally awesome, right? Well, he stinks at it. You can only watch a man pull out polka-dot scarves from a hat while using all six arms for so long. He could have the best slight of hand(s) trick(s) if he put in the same amount of effort as he does complaining about Spider-Man (Spider-Man partied with us, too, and was totally careful with his webbing). Totally called it on that guy complaining. He couldn't even entertain my roommates, and, believe me, at least one of them (Ryan) is easily amused - though, I heard that Ryan requested to be tickled by all six claws at once. Seriously, Ryan?

Anyway, back to 'Doc Ock's' issues (we can talk about Ryan's another time). As soon as he informed me that his favourite show was Jersey Shore, I knew I had to ditch him - he actually suggested that we go get Jersey Shore tans (Sidenote: I cannot tan). Jersey Shore tans! Ugh! I do not think that orange would suit me... or him, for that matter.

'Doc Ock': Boring; a cry baby; Jersey Shore lover; and, White Sox fan. Never be friends with a White Sox fan. Ever (Ha, ha, Dan!)

When he asked if he could play drums, people were pretty excited. That was until he decided to use all [six] arms at once, without drumsticks. Eff. That being said, it still sounded better than Fred Durst's attempted guitar solo (For your viewing (dis)pleasure: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2MI-_jWAmlE ).

As if that wasn't bad enough, he broke into Vince's room - now you know why the hinges were off, buddy - to "Be rid of that insipid noise [music]." Sorry, Vince. He also stole some of Enis' beer (I'm so not paying you for that).

The final straw was bringing him into the daycare. He didn't change [6] diapers; he just held [6] kids upside-down until they screamed "You're cooler than Spider-Man!"

Rest assured, the next time I get the bright idea to befriend a comic book villain... I'll just pick a better one.

The Vampire Epidemic - a prelude to the release of "Eclipse"

You'd have to have been living under a rock for the past few years to not notice that there's been a surge of vampire stories in various media: books, movies, tv shows, comics, the list goes on. I believe the surge happened just at the tail end of my second semester in college, or at least that's when I started to really notice it myself.

That semester I took a course called "Living with the Undead" and it was taught by the amazing Robert Price at Sheridan College. He taught us about the origin of the vampire myth, beginning with the eerie tale of Vlad the Impaler, touching on Elizabeth Bathory (shudder), and exploring a lot of fiction. We read Carmilla by Le Fanu, Anne Rice's Interview with the Vampire, and of course Bram Stoker's Dracula. We only briefly touched on the more recent film-flop-turned-successful-tv-series "Buffy the Vampire Slayer."

Since then of course I noticed the Twilight craze going on around me. I was at least five years older than the majority of my classmates so I chalked their fanaticism up to the same teenage excitement I had over "Buffy" and resisted. As I tried my best to ignore the ever-present Twi-hards, I got sucked into the world of Alan Ball's "True Blood" on HBO, based on the Sookie Stackhouse novels by Charlaine Harris (which I've now started to read).

Instantly I was drawn to the character of Bill, the tortured vampire struggling to mainstream in a world that just realized his kind existed. He was romantic, albeit from a completely different century and therefore had a thing or two to learn about a 21st century woman. But it was the old-fashioned, Southern Gentleman romanticism and charm that tugged at my heartstrings: holding open the door, guiding her with his hand at her back, defending her honour - sigh, I was a puddle of goo. So I think it has nothing to do with the fact that they're vampires - the vampire state is just a vehicle to make the story reach a wider audience than just hopeless romantics.

At this point, I will admit that I began reading the Twilight series by Stephenie Meyer, just to know what the fuss was all about (and to see if I might be too old to understand my younger counterparts). I was hooked. I read all four books in a matter of a week. I read them so fast that I bought the first one and was able to exchange it for the second and so on, not expecting to want to own them. By the time my birthday rolled around, I owned the box set and the first film on DVD. Edward is every woman's fantasy of a vampire or even a man. He is innocent and tortured at the same time. A little bit like Louis from Interview or Angel from "Buffy." Or even Stefan from the sleeper drama tv series "The Vampire Diaries" based on the books of the same name.

I put Louis, Angel, Edward, Stefan and Bill on the same plateau - the good guy you'd want to bring home to mom, if you could get Louis' diet under control. But then there's that whole other kind of vampire that can tug on your heartstrings and your libido at the same time - the bad boy. Lestat. Spike. Stefan's vampire brother, Damon. Eric. The vampire that makes you want to be the one that makes him want to be a better man, who makes you want to be Buffy, Bella, Elena or Sookie. (Or who makes you want to learn more about Vikings and the Scandinavidan culture).

It's a passing fantasy, but a really fun one. What makes you come back down to Earth is the realization that, save for Spike, these characters were written by a female. Spike was created by a man, but his lines were inspired by the female audience. It's definitive proof that they are a woman's fantasy man, because what man knows how to write like that, or shape a character like that? If anyone knows of a heterosexual man who writes this way, let me know. Maybe, if we're so drawn to these characters, it is evidence of a deeper need in women globally: a need for passion and desire and to be cherished and loved and completely ruined for any other man.

With that said, the Twilight series' third film "Eclipse" is coming out a week today, on June 30. I know I'll be there with some girlfriends despite my firm dislike for the second film as a piece of drivel, not exactly bringing the story to life in the way that I'd hoped. Apparently I'm very much alone in that opinion, save for the poor saps who were dragged to go see it by their girlfriends or wives - sorry Sean. So here's hoping that "Eclipse" is everything I want it to be, including the proposal and tent scenes - you know what I'm talking about.

Why I want to be friends with 'Doc Ock'

Found this on a friends Facebook page and loved it.  Thanks to Melissa for giving me permission to post it here for all of you to enjoy.


People are endlessly going on and on about how cool Chuck Norris and Mr. T are. Not me, though. I'm all about - at least for today, anyway - 'Doc Ock'. That's right, the bad dude from Spider-Man. Really, I wouldn't consider him a bad dude; just a really smart, yet misunderstood dude. I mean, the guy has six arms! Think of how hand that is. "Hey, 'Doc Ock"', I would say, "I need you to grab me these specific ingredients [insert specific ingredients here] from the cupboard so that I can bake cookies. Do you mind?"
"Obviously, I do NOT!" he would respond, enthusiastically, of course. Clearly, the man loves cookies (My cookies are awesome, FYI).

He would also be awesome for assisting at the daycare. Six arms to change diapers. Six arms to separate fighting kids with. If we had [6] swings, six arms to push kids on swings with! Mind blowing, right?

I could get six puppies and he could walk them all. No one would dare approach us. I mean, really, I'm hanging with 'Doc Ock', yo.

I would also like to think that he would be able to explain everything. Cause he's smart, you see. Really smart.  Doctor smart.

Obviously, we'd have to work on his feud with Spider-Man; cause, Spider-Man also seems like a rad dude - although, I imagine that when he's drunk, he's not so careful with his webbing. Gross. I also don't want to listen to endless whining about how Spider-Man won, yet again; and, how he ruins everything. Seriously, not my problem, guy. Of course, I wouldn't dare say that to 'Doc Ock'. That guy totally has six arms that he could potentially smack me around with.

Hm. Perhaps I need to rethink this possible friendship.

The Search for the Coco Loco

Please check out this stupidly fun little documentary that Laurie and I made in Cuba. It's about a drink we saw around called a "Coco Loco". Basically its a drink the gardeners make by collecting fallen coconuts from the grounds of the resort, then using a machete to cut a hole in the top and flatten the bottom. I think they then add Rum (or leave it to us to add rum, we've not sure). It was shot all on the last day and then pieced together with other unrelated clips we had but I think it turned out okay.

Please leave a comment below if you have any thoughts or questions about it.

AMMENDMENT (June 18) - Found these pictures on a friends Facebook page proving the drink has appeared else where (in this case Florida).