Okay, so, 'Doc Ock'... not so cool. Getting over the fact that he could potentially smack me around like never before, I was actually quite amped for our hangout. Let me tell you, my friend(s?), he is so boring! Not only was he unwilling to do anything remotely cool with his [six] arms (like get me my damn ingredients for baking cookies - he doesn't even like cookies!), but, he also just whined about how he wasn't as cool as Alfred Molina (Who portrayed him in the second installment of the most recent Spider-Man series). Come on! That guy didn't really have six arms! That guy was just green screen cool (though, his name is Alfred).
'Doc Ock' then went on about how being a doctor was "Mad boring" and that he truly wanted to "Be a magician!" Um, yes please! A magician with six arms sounds totally awesome, right? Well, he stinks at it. You can only watch a man pull out polka-dot scarves from a hat while using all six arms for so long. He could have the best slight of hand(s) trick(s) if he put in the same amount of effort as he does complaining about Spider-Man (Spider-Man partied with us, too, and was totally careful with his webbing). Totally called it on that guy complaining. He couldn't even entertain my roommates, and, believe me, at least one of them (Ryan) is easily amused - though, I heard that Ryan requested to be tickled by all six claws at once. Seriously, Ryan?
Anyway, back to 'Doc Ock's' issues (we can talk about Ryan's another time). As soon as he informed me that his favourite show was Jersey Shore, I knew I had to ditch him - he actually suggested that we go get Jersey Shore tans (Sidenote: I cannot tan). Jersey Shore tans! Ugh! I do not think that orange would suit me... or him, for that matter.
'Doc Ock': Boring; a cry baby; Jersey Shore lover; and, White Sox fan. Never be friends with a White Sox fan. Ever (Ha, ha, Dan!)
When he asked if he could play drums, people were pretty excited. That was until he decided to use all [six] arms at once, without drumsticks. Eff. That being said, it still sounded better than Fred Durst's attempted guitar solo (For your viewing (dis)pleasure: http://www.youtube.com/wat
As if that wasn't bad enough, he broke into Vince's room - now you know why the hinges were off, buddy - to "Be rid of that insipid noise [music]." Sorry, Vince. He also stole some of Enis' beer (I'm so not paying you for that).
The final straw was bringing him into the daycare. He didn't change [6] diapers; he just held [6] kids upside-down until they screamed "You're cooler than Spider-Man!"
Rest assured, the next time I get the bright idea to befriend a comic book villain... I'll just pick a better one.
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